For a one-month period, I kept count of the number of times I found it necessary to remind a coaching or consulting client, or even a friend of mine in an online discussion forum for a mastermind I belong to, why it’s important to see the lining of the cloud and invest in the silver.

How many times in 30 days? More than 20.

With that in mind, let’s quickly review the steps for handling the process of

Seriously, Royally, Totally F&%*!&g Up Like The Boss YOU ARE

A long time ago, a friend of mine who worked as a department supervisor was counseling a subordinate who made a big mistake.

The focus of his coaching and his message of encouragement can be summed up in this phrase:

“The reason I’m a manager, and you work for me, is because I’ve f&%*!ed up a lot more than you have. That’s how I got here!”


I get it.


I agree, the only way to truly understand success is to understand failure, to understand falling short, and to understand f&%*!&g up from time to time.

You can’t appreciate the view from the summit unless you’ve looked up from the valley.

With all that in mind, here are

The Simple Steps To Fixing Things After Totally F&%*!&g Up

STEP ONE: Decide whether an apology is necessary. Ask these questions:

  • “Did I make the best decision I could based on the information I had at the time?”
  • “In retrospect, could I have handled that differently?”
  • “Was I obviously high on catnip that day and just totally lost my head doing something totally out of character?”
  • “Is it possible I thought I knew everything about social grace, but this faux pas I committed just goes to show that ‘continuing education’ is called that for a reason?”
  • “Do I have to be ‘right’ here?”

On the last point, let’s defer to your own sense of what’s right. However, I’ve found that in 100% of cases, just letting the other person hear an apology will make this go a lot smoother for the other people involved.

As a leader, you will GAIN stature in their eyes by showing you’re not too big to give an apology.

More stature = more influence.

So, this goes to

STEP TWO: Apologize like the honest-to-God baller, shot-caller, and entrepreneurial business creating gangsta you are.


No excuses.

No rambling preamble (or similar half-assed attempts at a rhyme).

No “but look at what the other people did” (I think this is called Whataboutism).

By the way, you don’t ALWAYS have to use the words “I apologize” or “I’m sorry” – there are a number of ways to phrase it that will get the message across loud, clear, and concise.

Maybe the “apology” is not even words, but rather, a deed that sends the message that you recognize and accept your debt, and are repaying it now.

By making the first move, you’ve already gained stature with the other people who may carry a portion of the responsibility; and if they don’t own up to their end of it, you were the bigger person.

Others will respect you most.


A LEADER Is The Biggest Person In The Room – That Will Be You.

Very important.


STEP THREE: Invest in silver.

Remember that thing about silver being a precious metal?

There’s a good reason why.

Put Together, This Will All Make You The Biggest, Winningest Player On The Field

Have you heard the one about the two people being chased by a bear?

One person stops and puts on their running shoes.  The other says “Come on, no time for that, the bear’s gaining on us!”

The first person laces up their running shoes, looks at the other person, and says “I don’t have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you!”

The “bear” is the weight that comes from letting things linger.

Hate weighs people down.

Let others carry around the weight of the hate and not even bother to wear good shoes.

You – shake it off and handle it LIKE A BOSS.

And if it’s broke, fix it better than it ever was.

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