(Full credit to my persuasion teacher and mentor, Speaker Paul Ross, for this one. It’s sheer brilliance.)
Is your past dictating your future?
Even if you say it isn’t… there’s a good chance it is.
“I’ve tried to build a real business, but I keep getting sucked into doing it all myself.”
“All my relationships have failed. I keep finding the same losers.”
“I’m a loser.”
“The past 20 years, I’ve gotten no closer to my goals.”
“I can’t believe I did that. I just can’t believe that happened. How could I be so stupid?”
The problem is, you keep reliving the past, comparing “then” to “now” and allowing those same patterns and processes to govern your behavior.
You keep hauling yourself before the court of history and finding yourself guilty, over and over and over and over and over.
It’s a deadly cycle of self-fulfilling prophesy.
Time To Separate The Past From Your Future.
Linguistically, it’s incredibly easy.
It’s a four-part formula:
- “Up until now, it has been the case that”
- Insert the thing you’re regretting, the place you’ve fallen short, the thing that went wrong
- “And now, I claim my choice (to/that/where I will)”
- Insert the results you truly want.
Let’s use the second statement from above, “All my relationships have failed. I keep finding the same losers.”
Now, let’s fix it:
Up until now, it has been the case that all my relationships have failed, and that I’ve kept finding the same losers.
And now, I claim my choice to attract the opportunities, the energies, and the wisdom I need to find the person who will be a great fit for me and a long-term partner in my awesome life.
It takes away any judgment of the past.
You’re acknowledging it – not hiding from it, not having shame over it, not regretting it, not judging yourself for anything you did that contributed to the situation. That puts it in its proper place and frees you to draw the lessons from it.
Then, it redirects your energy toward what you really want, and puts a new frame around your commitment to take the actions necessary and make the adjustments needed to do better, to have better, to be better.
Write it down, and say it aloud.
Say it aloud daily.
Say it aloud every time you have any fears, worries, regrets, angst, shame, or find yourself hauling yourself back into the court of history.
Since we’re embarking on a new journey with a new roadmap, let’s shift gears (and buy a new car).